Matters of the Heart
Who Can Catch the Sky
Location: Briggs/Samedi Quarters
Alexi and Nirrti spent the rest of the evening relatively normally, albeit with Alexi being a bit more bashful and fighting the urge to blush every time she made eye contact with Nirrti most of the night. They had their night on the town, dinner and drinks, and a bit of fun at the station fair, though the holodeck haunted house only barely passed muster.
Hooked arm in arm, the two of them made their way home, idly chatting as they walked, finally arriving back at their quarters to get ready for some much needed sleep before getting back underway the next morning.
Alexi had changed and was rummaging through her locker, looking for the book she'd been reading the night before, still processing the events of earlier in the evening.
That familiar *FWOOMP* of Nirrti leaping headlong into her bed sounded behind Alexi, followed by a moment of silence before the pale ensign spoke. "Hey. C'mere a moment. Some things I think we have to talk about."
"Heh... maybe," Alexi replied, butterflies very abruptly invading her stomach again as she stood and walked over to Nirrti's bunk and sat next to her.
Nirrti looked up at Alexi from where she was lying on her back, reaching up to ruffle the other woman's hair, smiling softly before turning a bit more serious. "So, first things first. I really enjoyed myself tonight and I have absolutely no regrets about anything that happened. Ok? Got that?"
"That said - sometimes I act a little impulsive, and do things before thinking about them. And things can have consequences." She paused a moment as if trying to find the right words. "So, uhm - what's going to happen now? What do you hope is going to happen?"
Alexi looked down at her hands for a long moment before she spoke, "I don't know... I... You're the first person that... has ever known me, like... all about me. My worst, my best, and everything in between. And you're still here, and you're wonderful, and I love being with you... and... " she trailed off, then took a deep breath, "What do you hope happens?"
Nirrti gave a shrug. "I'unno. Haven't thought about that. That's not my style, you know. Making plans for the future." she grinned. "I like to take the day as it comes, see what happens, hopefully something amusing." Pause. "But what I don't want to happen is that you get sad or hurt."
"Then don't go anywhere," Alexi replied, quietly, looking back at the woman next to her. "Please... I... I'm don't want you to think I'm being clingy or ... whatever... but I can't explain how much you mean to me, Nirrti..." She admitted, blushing again and turning back to look at her hands, "I've never had *anyone* like you."
"And that makes me sad." Nirrti blurted out. "Everyone deserves a friend." she added, thinking some more. "Thing is though, is it me that you like? Or the idea of me?"
"No, it's you," She admitted, not even a moment of hesitation. She turned back around to face Nirrti more fully, taking a deep breath, "You... spoken to my heart, girl. It's how you think, it's how you... operate on a daily basis. It's not just like... insert-person-here friendship. You are like... everything I ever needed or dreamed of or wanted... and hell, some stuff I didn't know I wanted," She said, earnestly, taking Nirrti's hands in hers.
Which Nirrti allowed. She looked at their hands for a moment before turning her attention back to Alexi proper. "See, that's what scares me. That's a lot of - ... Well, it's a lot."
Alexi reflexively pulled her hands back, "I know. I know, I'm sorry... I'm stupid, I'm sorry," She said, seeming to fold in on herself.
Nirrti shook her head and reached out for Alexi's hands this time. "No. It's ok. Just means we're going to have to, like, go it slow. See where things go." Beat. "I just, this scares me. I've always been very easy and carefree in romance. Kinda like my sister. But she settled down. And - " She sighed, looking down, mumbling. "I'unno, it just scares me. I'm too free to settle down? I'unno."
"Why does settling down mean being less free?" Alexi asked, quietly. "I don't want you to stop being you, to stop being free. Not ever," She said, looking down at her hands in Nirrti's.
Nirrti shrugged. "Can't very well just stay out and go home with some cute Ensign from security for the night if I settle down and we become a thing, now can I. I'm a leaf in the wind, Alexi. A hungry bee in a field of tulips, flitting from place to place. Unreliable. I go where my whim takes me. You don't need me in your life."
"I don't care... if you just come home to me when you're done, I don't care, really," She said, earnestly. "Maybe I don't need you in my life, but I want you in it... that's gotta count for something, right?" She asked.
Nirrt sat up in bed, considering Alexi's words. She sighed softly, then smiled. "I suppose. But - ... My freedom ends where yours begins. I'll just have to try to keep that in mind."
"I think... if anyone could figure this out, we can, Nirrti," Alexi said, quietly.